One of the most effective ways to get what you want in life is not to go through the hustle alone. That often means coaching and mentoring. But are you sure you are ready for a mentor?
You may feel stuck at times. You may feel lost, confused, and incapable of moving on when it comes to your personal life, work, or education (even your spiritual side).
Our spiritual and emotional “selves” are cogs in the wheel. They drive us forward and manifest themselves in our outer world. So it’s good to take care of and balance our inner world.
I have lost count of how many times I’ve heard people say they feel stuck, overwhelmed, or lack a purpose. When it comes to school and careers, it’s even more common.
If you feel like something isn’t working in your life right now, then you are not alone. It might be time to seek a mentor who can help you get from where you are to where you want to be.
Unless you’re not ready for a mentor.
If you’re ready, there’s a coach for you out there
Coaching is taking over the planet. You can find mentors and guidance for almost any field or topics you’re interested in. Because of the internet, the pool of people available for guidance is a lot larger than it was 20 years ago.
We’re not limited to people with certain grades, diplomas, or highly-educated and praised gurus who aren’t always much help. An uneducated individual who has years of knowledge and personal experience within a certain field can be a mentor to you if they work in a space you want to be in.
It’s not uncommon for an “average guy” to brand himself as a coach because he, in fact, is damn good at something that someone who may be educated has no real experience doing.
This guy is one of my past Taekwon-Do students. Totally lost and confused he was. Not fitting into the “system” of school and common work arrangements. He became a “special need” case. His issue?… • He was too bright, having an educated soul that was not compatible with this chaos of this world. • He got in touch with me again a couple of years ago. We stayed in touch. • Now he is one the most enlightened and healthy people I know 👌🏻 • #highervibration #rebelsoul #lightworker #enlightened #vegans #healthylifestyle #lifepassion #lifepurpose #lifepurposecoach
That’s good. That means you’re able to seek out a mentor and coach who can provide you with the specific kind of knowledge you need.
If you’re open to the help, that is.
Some people collect mentors and coaches like stamps. It feels like a “cool thing to do.” But sometimes, these same people are not actually ready for guidance. They’re not ready to make real changes. They self-sabotage and block their own progress. Often without even realizing it.
Do you think you are ready to give your life a new trajectory?
When you sit down and talk with someone who’s there for you—listening, tuning in, feeling your situation and vibe—it feels good because you get attention. If your mentor works the way I do, then you’re also being taught about solutions to your problems and motivated to overcome whatever is blocking your progress. And that feels damn good too.
New ideas, solutions, possible outcomes, and future glory—it’s mind-porn. They make you feel like waving your arms around, river dancing, and singing Kumbaya.
Until the moment comes when you actually have to start doing stuff and the risk of change becomes real.
When change happens, you block it
For some, finding a mentor is where their journey stops. Actually doing something different and making changes is scary. Breaking free from your daily routine can create friction and stress. So we avoid the stress by saying no or coming up with clever reasons for why we are stuck.
We waste time. We make decisions that cause all our plans to fall apart. Sometimes we even unconsciously or deliberately sabotage our coach’s guidance and best advice by simply not holding up our end of the agreement. Not everyone can tolerate having another person see their real self, act as an authority figure, and help them make decisions.
Do you feel ready for a mentor to give you advice and adjust the course of your journey, project, or life?
You care too much about what friends or family might say
This is more common than most people would like to admit. So if you are like most people, you care too much about other people’s opinions of you.
Humans are scared creatures. There’s a lot to be afraid of it seems.
And one of our biggest fears is not being accepted or liked. So people act and try to fit in in more ways than you can imagine.
I had a girlfriend once. I loved her very much.
She was epic in my eyes. And she was unlike anything or anyone else I have come across since. She had character, charisma, a huge potential, good humor, and a sharp mind. Things I haven’t observed in quite the same ways with anyone else. In my eyes, she has lost all that spark. Now, she more or less screams for attention by getting half-naked on Instagram to be uplifted by likes and comments about how beautiful she is.
Fucking sad. She seeks more attention than respect.
If you are looking for coaching, you have to prepare to be told to make some changes to improve your life. And you know what?
Several times during my work as a teacher, trainer, coach, and mentor I have told the person I’m helping to ditch family, friends, and other bad relationships. I observe a lot of people who continue to spend time with toxic buddies, fathers, and bitches for mothers.
Like my girlfriend, who had a toxic mother.
I know this sounds harsh, and it can be hard to end relationships. There are people who spend so much time with toxic and unhealthy people that they become them, adapt to them, and repeat the same cycle with other people.
But your life is about you!
If you can’t be you, then what are you doing? Why would you be an actor in your own life and let others shape you how THEY want to? I know that you have the potential and capacity for so much more than you think you do.
Don’t believe me? Well, I’m ready to have that talk with you anytime. Get in touch.
It’s all about your mindset and where you get your energy from.
Meditate, visualise, and let go of the past
If you’ve connected with some of the things I’ve written here, know that there is always a solution. If you recognise some of these issues and think you might be blocking your own progress, maybe you should consider working with a coach (or a different coach) to help you resolve any past “bad energy” blocks that keep you from achieving your dreams.
I know that throughout my life I have had huge money issues. This is some really fucked up karma and bad history from my mother. It’s a long story. And not a pleasant one. It has kind of left me with a negative mindset about money—some kind of fear of having too much or not enough money flowing in.
If I hadn’t worked on my mindset, I would end up with a programmed mind like most people: “Oh well, I guess I’m not supposed to have things go my way and live without struggles.”
This has improved a lot over the years. I have spent a fuck-load of time practicing meditation, visualising, and training myself through martial arts.
What does it do to my mind?
Well, first of all, I have dragged bad thoughts and memories out from the dark. I hold them up in the light to see, and try to figure out what makes me hold on to old patterns that are not even me.
I visualise and see my future the way I would like it to be over and over again so it becomes a “true story” in my mind. I’ve envisioned this future for a few years now, so it’s almost like this dream-life is already a part of me.
I’m grateful that the people I work with and consider my mentors and coaches want me to succeed and wish me the best.
I have to welcome changes. I understand that my ego sometimes acts like a drama queen trying to protect me. Sometimes I have to put my ego on my lap, pet it, and say nice things to it.
What kind of coaching do you need?
I don’t know if you’ve ever signed up for a mentor or coach, or if you’ve only considered it. But make sure that the coach you decide to work with is the right one for you.
Do you need a coach to help you make a plan, suggest methods for achieving your goals, and implement changes?